Flossy is well known to many on the British Dressage Forum as a teller of interesting stories and perhaps the odd joke or two. We have selected a few tales for your pleasure.

Washing up

Some time ago I coached a new student , a local rider that asked for my help with some specific movements.
I did my best to conduct the lesson according to her preferred learning style which was in hindsight was to learn very little and very slowly . Due to the fact that the said student never booked another lesson I got the message that we did not click as student and trainer - I can live with that. As a dressage trainer with many years of experience I have learnt that you can’t be for every one - end of story.
Not so.
Unfortunately the student took a different point of view how to handle the disappointing equestrian one day stand we had.
This middle age thinks she is GP rider kept sending me messages, via dressage jungle drums of the equestrian community, that both she and her horse were emotionally and psychologically scarred for life from the 45 minutes we three(and few witnesses) spent together in the seclusion of my indoor arena. I can live with that because As a dressage trainer with many years of experience I have learnt that you can’t be for every one - end of story.
Not so , recently the messages were more explicitly letting me know that other trainers (much juniors to me if I may say) have managed to hit the spot that I obviously I did not even find. I can live with that because as a dressage trainer of ,,,,etc etc etc end of story.
Unfortunately not , the latest message via a messenger, mentioned that she has reached the pinnacle of equestrian status by being coached by a visiting European trainer (Dutch actually, Is Holland still in EUROPE ??? think so),
The message deliver politely asked “who is this European trainer?”
which got me to explain to her that In most sports and professions one start at the bottom and works their way upwards, however in dressage it is clearly different, many starts at the top and work their way downwards to the bottom, there are THE few that start at the bottom and work their way further downwards.
Anybody that think that I am sarcastic and cynical let’s examine few facts.
Many Many years ago like as long ago as “BC” (before Carl) Top European trainers WERE THE MUST for every aspiring British Dressage Diva.
If your aim was a top spot in a GP de Dressage, being seen warmed up by a continental trainer was as important as actually completing the test.
But since “AD” (After Dujardin) the non UK domicile TRAINER, is no longer a pre requisite for a high dressage score- to the contrary, most of our top echelon riders are all home produced wearing the trade mark “Made in the UK”
We know of several European Top Trainers that started their training journey in the UK as trainers of Olympic teams and international riders, to be relegated over the years to the young riders or junior squads and now can be found selling their intellectual merchandise to the middle-aged fluffy numpty wanabee Gp dressage divas . THAT’S LIFE in the dressage lane .
My Polish farm worker has a moonlighting job in the local pub to support his drinking needs, he helps with the washing up in the back kitchen, most morning after , he reports back with all the village politics.
The other day he relayed the following story .
There he was in the back kitchen with two other guys, one of them a new comer to the team, with a sink full with dirty dishes needing to be washed, the topic of conversation between them was how lucky they are even to get a washing up job . now a days with all the millions of economic migrants descending on the UK , unless one has proper trade/profession even a washing up job is considered a lucky find.
The two regulars turned to the new comer and asked are you here also for the work and benefits? His reply was “ I am not here for the weather this is for sure , actually I have a qualification I am a Top European Dressage TRAINER with years of international experience”.
“SO WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WASHING UP JOB???” the two of them asked at the same time.
And my Polish worker added “my boss Flossy the dressage trainer would not be seen next to a washing up sink for love nor money!!”
His reply was “Lucky for your boss , You have to see the middle aged, fluffy, numpty, thinks she is GP Diva , I have been asked to coach recently , rather do WASHING UP any day “